Thursday, November 12, 2015

Gobbledygook (or, Katherine's Crazy Is Showing)

I started a blog post earlier today with a clear purpose in mind.  I knew what I was going to write about, and thought it'd be really good to get it out of my head.  Little did I know that I seem to have a condition of some sort.  Let's call it...Abstraction on the Brink of Lineality...??  (I like making up words...)

Here's the problem: I'm crazy an abstract thinker.  I'm an artist, after all, and am constantly pulling ideas together, then apart, and then together again.  (Consequently, I'm pretty good at fixing things, so that's a bonus.)  I can make up stories on the fly, and come up with silly creatures and characters and paint or draw them with some success.  I'm great at brainstorming and finding new ways to do things. 

Linear thinking, though...  Guh.  It's the WORST!!  Who wants to go from A to B to C to D and so on when it's so much more fun to start at W, jump over to L, circle back to O, and end at A?  

Whether or not I want to think linearly, I know I have to in order to get this whole art business going.  I have lists, and lists for those lists, and spreadsheets upon spreadsheets, and reminders on my phone and post-it notes, and still, I feel like my brain is swimming.  I want to make so many things!!!  But I have to think in a linear manner to get there.  I need to have a certain amount of money to buy a certain number of things so I can sell those things and make more money to buy more things to sell.  A B C A B C. **SNOOOZE**  (I need a business manager who works for paintings and high fives.) 

My brain is rebelling against me in this.  The abstract part of my brain is getting nervous, thinking this linear thinking bugger is trying to take over, and is trying to oust the interloper.  As a result, my brain is swirling as the two parts spar (I'd like to think they're fencing) and one tries to gain dominance.  (Hmmm...there may be a painting to come here...)

The odd thing is, I'm actually a fairly organized person in general.  I like to think that the left and right sides of my brain balance fairly well.  I've had a number of office jobs where I've had to think very linearly, I'm good at following a recipe, I read books from beginning to end (usually).  Yet I spend most of my life in the abstract world of an artist.  I feel like it should balance out.  (It doesn't.)

The point of all of this gobbledygook is that the abstract side of my brain is hindering me in many ways as I try to move forward.  (Technology is also hindering me quite a bit, which was actually the orginal subject of the blog post I began earlier and scrapped, because it went in 10 different directions and I couldn't pull it back together.*)  Nonetheless, I'm fighting back, and with the help of friends and family will soon have several ducks in a row (hmm...another painting idea...) and will keep moving forward.  

(As I've been writing the last two paragraphs, a part of my insane brain has still been mulling over what the illustration of my brain parts sparring would look like.  A paint brush vs a ruler?  Jumbled letters vs letters all in order?  The left half of the brain vs the right half?  Ew, no, I don't really want to draw brains.  That's partly why I dislike zombies so much - the whole eating brains thing.  It's gross!! On a slightly different note, my friend Cori once asked the very important question: why isn't it spelled zomby?  Cori also sent me a picture of what she imagined her brain looked like at a very stressful time in the semester.  It was Squints from "The Sandlot" looking sort of crazed right before he jumps into the deep end of the pool and then kisses Wendy Paffercorn "long and hard."  This (Crazed Squints), I imagine, is what my brain looks like on a regular basis these days, as illustrated by this nonsensical paragraph.)

Where was I?  Huh.  If I was thinking linearly, I'd go back and reread this post and make a grand, organized finish.  But my brain's been sparring with itself all day and is pretty tired, so I think I'll skip that and just put a photo here of the painting I did today: Automaton Katherine** thinking of all of the things she wants to create without a care in the world.  

Go to for a better image!
If you want to, of course.  No pressure.

*I'll probably publish parts of that post another time.  I like where I was going for a while, but then it sort of got away from me.  I'll grab a lassoo and pull it back on track for your reading pleasure at a later date.  I mean, it had a great "The 'Burbs" reference!  Can't go wrong with that movie. 
** Why did I end up painting myself to look like an automaton?!?  No one knows.  My brain might know why, but it's certainly not telling me.